This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's blow job season.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
