i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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