babies were throwing up all over the place
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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