He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This is the high leading the old right now
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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