I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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