just tell him i said nine months
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
