I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
