Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
