I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
