Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
