2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
