it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
