Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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