I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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