After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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