Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
