A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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