This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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