wanna go halves on a baby?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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