Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
