The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
