how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
