Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
