Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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