Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you would pick up someone in the library
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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