Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
