so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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