The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We need a shit load of segways right now
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
