should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
