Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
