He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I had to cum in my sink.
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