What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
