I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
well you can't waste a boner
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is Oprah even human
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize