would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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