Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
