Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
