We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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