I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
