There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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