I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think i have two assholes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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