that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
