I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
