Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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