I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize