Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
