I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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