someone threw a dead crab at me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize