Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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