I need help removing her.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
