Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
