She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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