THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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