Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
