I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
