It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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