Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
