She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
