I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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