Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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