She announced her abortion via fbk
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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