2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
