I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
