PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
