am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
