Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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