Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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