I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
