I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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