Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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