if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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