sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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